Pack Light, Dream Big 🧳 Your Guide to Moving Solo

Do you ever feel stuck, like life is on pause in a place you didn’t intend to stay? Maybe you’re still at ya momma’s house or staying with grandma a little longer than planned. That’s okay; take your time. Just remember, it’s never too late or too early to make a change.
If you want independence, adventure, or a fresh start, here are some tips for moving out of your home and hometown on your own.

Step One: Pick your destination

Once you’ve picked the city where you see yourself living and thriving—or even if you haven’t yet, but you feel that pull to start fresh somewhere new—I need you to do what my grandmother told me.

Grab your journal.
No, not the one soaked in heartbreak and betrayal, where you cry about the boy who broke your heart or the friend who lost your trust. I mean the one where you script your dreams and desires.
Don’t have one? Babe, head to Walmart and grab something cute. You’ll need it again soon—I’m teaching manifestation rituals in the next blog post.

Got your journal? Good.
Now close your eyes and visualize your apartment (or house).
Picture the layout. How many bedrooms and bathrooms? What kind of flooring? What do the countertops look like? What’s the view from your living room?
What shape is your couch? Your headboard? Are there pets curled up somewhere? What’s the color palette of your furniture?
Let it all come alive.

Now open—your eyes, your journal, your heart.
Draw what you saw. Sketch the floor plan. Which way does the bed face?
Draw, draw, draw.
It’s all coming together.
Feel that? That joy in your chest? That quiet whisper in your mind saying, “It’s already mine.”
Because it is.

I know—this might sound silly. It did to me too, when my grandmother told me to do this over Sunday breakfast. But guess what?
A year later, I was sitting on my grey sectional, dancing on the pole in my bedroom, living the exact vision I had drawn.
I wasn’t afraid of what might happen—I was afraid of what I’d miss if I didn’t believe.

I’ll never steer you wrong. I’ll only share the wisdom God gave me. It’s the least I can do: share God’s good word in every form it arrives.

Step Two: Plan Like You Mean It

Every good move starts with a plan.
And that plan starts with saving your money.

Giiiiiiirl, I know that new dress is calling your name and brunch every weekend is a vibe—but we’ve got goals.
REAL goals.
Goals that require discipline and dollars.

Yes, I’m talking to you, Little Miss “I just spent my whole check on a new wardrobe because my momma doesn’t need rent money from me.”
Save. That. Money.

Start with 10% of every check.
And treat that money like it doesn’t exist.
Don’t touch it.
Emergencies happen, so open multiple savings accounts for different needs.
Discipline is key—because money doesn’t grow on trees. It grows from hard work and dedication. (And I guess technically on trees too)

If you’re serious about moving to a new city—or even a new state—I recommend saving at least $10K.

I know it sounds like a lot, but you can do it in under a year. I did.
Miss “I need to book that flight and buy a whole new wardrobe” saved $10K in six months.

I was making good money for two years, but it wasn’t until the last eight months that I realized something had to shift.
I set real goals with mindful intentions and built habits that led to remarkable self-discipline.

Step Three: Research Like a Ritual

I hope you’ve picked your city by now, because it’s time to dig deep.

Research everything—even the things you think you already know.
Run the numbers. Run the stats.
What’s the demographic makeup?
How’s the weather compared to where you live now?
What’s the average rent for your dream setup?
Are there schools you want to study at?

Know what you want—and make sure everything aligns.

Psst… still don’t tell anyone yet.

Now visit the city.
Yes, book that flight, girl. It’s okay.
You’ll need a rental car and a cozy place to stay.

Schedule at least five apartment tours.
Because let me tell you—at least three won’t look like the pictures.
You’ll need a job interview lined up. If you don’t have one, see if your current employer has a location there or apply to spots you’re in alignment with while you’re visiting.

Explore the city.
Do the touristy things.
Feel the vibe.
Make sure it matches your energy.

When you come home and feel like you miss it—like you want to go back—apply for your favorite apartment.
Don’t hesitate.
Don’t let fear of dramatic change creep in.

This is what you wanted.
It felt right while you were there.

And here’s why you still shouldn’t tell anyone:
Fear often comes from the opinions and judgments of others.
Don’t invite doubt into a space that was once full of clarity.

Matter of fact, don’t say a word until your apartment is approved and that $10K is sitting pretty in your bank account.

You got this, love.
I have so many more tips and tricks to share, but this is just the beginning.
If you need to talk, email me. Ask me anything. I care about you.
You’re not crazy.
And your family will support you when they see you can—and will—do bad all by yourself.

Interested in my story? Okay I’ll tell you how I picked a spot, saved that money, visited, and moved. All. By. Myself. It is something I am genuinely proud of myself for doing; and I’m going to do it again and again until I find home!

“I am Woman. I am Strong.” -Grandma P

My grandmother said this to me moments before I left my hometown to go somewhere incredibly different from what I’ve ever known. And that’s how I persevered through it all, knowing that I am strong and that my resilient grandmother thought so too.

At the beginning of the year, January 2024, I was severely depressed. Depressed for a few weeks, maybe months now. Crippling and crying every night because of the dissatisfaction in my living situation and abundantly stressed from my well-paying job. I wanted to give up; I hated coming home to a twin-sized mattress in my grandmother’s office room at the trailer park. Just like my childhood. “How did I end up back here?” I must’ve asked myself that a hundred times.

Then I got a collect call from my dad. Hey Dad, I missed your voice.

“What’s wrong, Cyrah? I can hear it in your tone,” he said. I tried holding back tears, but I just spoke from the heart and let it out.

I told him, “I don’t know what I am doing with myself; I don’t know who to be or where to go. I’m sad, Dad. I can’t keep living like this.”

Then it was like light shed through that phone call. My dad was in the pen for months, missed his birthday and all of the fun holidays but was still full of so much light. He spoke life back into me that evening. He inspired me to chase a dream I didn’t know was deeply rooted in me and my bloodline. He reassured me of how smart I am and have always been. He told me he saw a little teacher in me, someone who motivates the youth and educates the youngins before stepping out into the real world. I could see it. Man, could I see it. I saw future me teaching English to a classroom full of 5th graders. I felt spark, I saw light, I felt something in me I haven’t felt in a very, very long time. I saw a bright future for myself. I felt hope in my heart and faith in my spirit. Man, I needed that.

That one conversation sparked the elevated version of myself to shine through. I have a goal now; the motivated me is back. From that moment on, I prayed and never stopped talking to God about my plans. The funny thing is they were never my own plans; they were God’s, of course. See, God uses people to speak prophetic word into your heart, uses your own mind to come up with creative ideas, and your big ol’ heart to want something new for yourself.

From that moment on, ya girl was ambitious again! I was a goal mf setter. Depression ain’t got shit on me, period. So now I know what I want to study (Education); now I gotta figure out where… because I’ve outgrown my environment. So, the research begins.

Now I gotta ask myself, “Well Cyrah, what exactly are you looking for in a new city?” I formulated a list and went to work on cities that match! The key to this was being open-minded. I didn’t know where but I knew my why, and that’s all I needed for now.

Did plenty of research and I kept seeing the same city pop up on different lists. It had everything I was looking for (at the time). It was a vibrant city full of music from the soul, BBQ plates from the heart, and history in the soil. I’ve always wanted to experience the four seasons, but not too harsh on the winter snow please! I needed to be somewhere where I can afford my very own one-bedroom apartment, bring my cat, and be far enough to where people have to put in effort to spend time with me.

I asked for sign after sign, and God delivered every single time. One night devastation hit and I prayed to God for a hug, a meaningful hug. The very next day, I was working at my nice paying yet stressful job in the senior living industry. My favorite resident had dementia real bad, but never forgot me or where I work and what I give her each day (fresh baked cookies). She knew when I came in and when I was going home. She came down from her slumber one morning and strolled right up to me, looked at me, and said, “Oh Angel, come here.” With open arms, she gave me a hug I could never forget. She then handed me a paper (their daily activity schedule) that was folded ever so perfectly so the word “Tennessee” was showing at the top. I just thanked her. Then I prayed and thanked God for the sign. The next week I put my two weeks in and celebrated at the beach, for I know I wouldn’t be around the beach for a very long time again.

Time went on, I visited the city with 5 apartment tours lined up, school tours, a camping trip with the school, and finished my 5-day trip with a paid internship and scholarships that I was not expecting. Instead of going home, I went to Chicago, my parents’ hometown. I visited some family, shared the good news, and asked for support in applying for the apartment I wanted. I woke up in Chicago on my birthday with an acceptance letter from the apartment I wanted so badly! Everything worked out for me. I never thought life could be this easy; I always thought it was going to be a constant struggle. It wasn’t until I took the risk, that leap of faith, to get me to peace and stability.

Flew back home that evening and shared the good news over dinner at my favorite restaurant with my loved ones. Everyone (the few that actually came) was sad but extremely supportive of my decision. Of course, I never mentioned any of this while it was happening, so they could only enjoy my presence for one more month before I go and live for myself. I had an amazing time that month spending time with my loved ones and remembering exactly where I came from.

I found myself August 1st, 2024, with the keys to my first apartment in Tennessee, with my sister building my dinner table with her fingers as a screwdriver. My mom and stepdad drove across the country with my car attached to the back of their truck and all my clothes inside the car. That’s all I needed: family to support me, my car, and a few clothes. God gon’ help me with the rest. I had my 10k saved up and spent every last dollar on this move and paying bills ahead of time.

All of this is to be said to not only inspire you to make that move, but to tell you if it is in your heart to do something so courageous that it almost seems crazy, you should do it. If you are spiritually aligned and have a relationship with God, it is most likely God motivating you through it all, in your head, in your heart, and through the hugs of little old ladies with dementia.

Believe in yourself, set a goal, and go for it. You can’t spend the best years of your life in a stuck place; you will wish you hadn’t, and real baddies believe in taking risks.

“Stay far from timid only make moves when your heart’s in it, and live the phrase the sky’s the limit.”- The Notorious B.I.G

So let’s chat in the comments. Tell me something. If you could move anywhere tomorrow, where would it be? Have you ever moved out of your birth city on your own? If so, how was your experience? Has this post inspired you in any way? If so, how? Now I don’t want you to tell too much, but I would love to hear about your experiences in moving on your own or your dreams of what you would do when you got there.